If you’re a current subscriber, log in below. If you would like to subscribe, please click the subscribe tab above.
Username and Password Help
THEIR SHARE OF THINGS TO DO
I feel like my husband takes me for granted. We have a good relationship, mostly, but I feel like he just assumes that I’ll take care of everything while he waits around for me to do it. All the time, while I’m cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the kids, he’s just watching the TV. He will actually yell to me to come from the kitchen to take care of one of the kids while he’s watching a show.
How do I get him to step up and help me more?
Have you talked to him about this? I’ve seen first-hand that any spouse can have a bad habit of not noticing what’s happening around them. It is possible that without being told, your husband may not realize that you need help. Everyone should have their share of things to do within the family and in the home, but those things should be made clear to everyone, as well.
Also, sometimes I think it helps to make sure and remind yourself of all the things your spouse already does. Maybe he’s not great with the kids, but you never have to ask him to take out the trash, or he always makes sure to take care of your vehicle maintenance.
Most of all, communication is key. If you feel like he needs to help more, you need to make it clear how and when you need the help. I wish we could, but nobody can read minds!
We’re going to be moving soon. My wife wants to move into a bigger house. I really think this is the time for us to downsize. We have too much stuff already, and I swear that every time we get more storage, we just buy more to put in it, even though we don’t use half of the items we own already. Every time I try to talk to her about it, she just swears we need a bigger house. How do I get her to see my side?
Downsizing and decluttering seem to be all the rage these days. Sometimes I think people are trying too hard to keep up with the trend. Do you know I read in a magazine about a man who counted all the things in his house and bragged about how little he had? Then again, I’m probably the worst source on the idea, I also have too many belongings filling my home.
If you feel like there is too much in your house, I’d say start by being a good example, and show your wife what you gain by reducing some of your personal things. If she can clearly see that you gain something by cutting back, she may be more inclined to listen.
Remember to be ready for push-back. Sometimes people keep too many belongings because of old hurt feelings or deep fears. It would be one thing if you were saying she keeps too many tools that she uses, but I wonder a little since you mentioned many things you own aren’t used. Try talking to her about why you have to hold on to so much in your house if it’s not used.
But never decide to go through her things and get rid of items for her. It’s plain rude, and it may inspire her to get rid of you instead!