TESSIE TWO CENTS

By Editor | November 24, 2022

Dear Tessie,

I feel like I’m missing something. That’s a pretty loaded statement, so I know I need to explain… I’m perfectly fine to be alone. I can work by myself, sit alone and read a book, and happily go on a trip alone. It probably comes from being alone as a kid, but I’m just easily able to entertain myself wherever I might go, and I don’t need someone else. I have people in my life because I want them, not because I need someone. I got some strange reactions when I took a solo trip recently, and I don’t understand… what’s wrong with being happy alone?

Ana

Dear Ana,

I think it’s especially important around the holidays to touch on this subject that often bothers me in a strange way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone, or with being happy to be alone. It’s lovely to have folks in your circle that bring you happiness or peace, but it isn’t necessary to even have a circle. I can’t deny the advantage of having at least one trusted friend or confidant. Everyone would do well to have at least one someone in their life… but don’t let the world tell you that company is a necessity.

I firmly believe that alone time is the necessity. Society as it sits is constant noise and rushing. Nothing is done slowly, and so few places offer you time or space to simply be, an relaxing is almost out of the question. Even when resting, folks expect that you should be accessible at a moment’s notice by cell phone or email. Even I fall into the trap of expecting folks to be available any old time, and I strongly dislike it being expected of me. We’re just too connected to each other.

It’s almost as if folks have lost the ability to be alone if I’m honest. As if because we can be in contact so often and so easily, they’re not able to keep themselves anymore. You should never depend on another person to keep you, Ana. A very important quality in a person is their ability to do and be responsible for themselves.

There’s also a difference between being alone and being lonely. Nobody likes to feel lonely. Lonely is a sadness, a missing company feeling. Being alone is merely a state of being. You can be surrounded by people and be lonely. You can sit alone in a room and be perfectly content. I’d venture to say that the time you should be truly concerned is when you’re with folks you are supposed to be able to depend on and you still feel lonely.

Don’t worry yourself, Ana. You’re not missing anything. Your ability to be alone means you’re probably missing much less than a lot of other folks around you. Be true to yourself, and let that be enough.

Love,

Tessie

Posted in Lifestyles