Tessie’s Two Cents

PROTECTED CONTENT

If you’re a current subscriber, log in below. If you would like to subscribe, please click the subscribe tab above.

Username

Password

Login

Lost your password?

Username and Password Help

Please enter your email and we will send your username and password to you.

Email

Submit

← Back

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

Dear Tessie,

I’m worried all the time. I’m anxious and can’t relax, because I’m worried… about everything. I’m not sure what to do, but I know I’m not helping myself. Any ideas?

GC

Dear GC

I want to tell you about something I’ve struggled with for my whole life… and it turns out a lot of folks struggle with in some way or another, to some degree.

You cannot worry yourself about things that you have no control over. There are many things that you simply do not have power to change or influence.

You have no control over the way other folks feel. You have control over how you feel, or can certainly work on how you feel… but not others. You might even very thoroughly disagree with someone that you love very much, but you still have no control over how they feel.

You have no control over what other folks are going to do, either. You can make recommendations, and you can try to convince them of what you think is a better course of action, but you cannot act for them. Try as you might, you just can’t.

You will never have control of the weather, or traffic, or wild animals. Slips, spills, and accidents will happen, and that’ll just be a part of life.

You have control over your own thoughts and your own actions… period. You cannot choose how someone will treat you, but you can choose how you react to it. You cannot choose how your child lives their life… but you can choose how you react to it. You cannot control that the staff at a restaurant is overwhelmed during your visit, but you can control how you let it influence you.

I have a friend who worries and worries herself over many things that are out of her control, but she remains anxious. I know a young man who struggles with his temper, and spends so much of his time angry and completely miserable… simply because he allows things he cannot control to upset him. Each of them is miserable in their own way, and it’s because they allow all the things they can’t control to dictate their minds.

What does sitting and quietly worrying accomplish? Nothing. What does blind anger accomplish? Nothing. What will you accomplish by reacting poorly in a stressful situation? You’ll only accomplish making it a more stressful situation!

Focus on the things you can control. Focus on the ways and places in your life that there are actionable steps you can take to do anything about the situation at hand. If what has you twisted up inside is something that you have no hope of changing, my dear… let it go.

Love,

Tessie