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KEEP YOUR HEAD UP
My daughter came to me today and told me how upset she was because some of her friends in school were picking on her, saying she likes a boy, that this boy is her boyfriend, and all of those same little teases that young kids push on each other. I’m not even good at ignoring what people say or think… how do I help my daughter ignore it?
Dear Girl Mom,
Folks will always have a lot to say about each other. It doesn’t have to be true… often it isn’t nice at all. Folks will make up terrible stories and tell them to the world, just because they need to make others feel bad so they feel better. Sadly, this will never stop.
What’s important, is that you don’t have to let it stop you, and neither does your daughter. What folks have to say, it might hurt. I very clearly remember the jingle, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” How I wish it were true, for all of our sakes.
Now personally, I believe that the best way to help your daughter is to be perfectly honest with her. Do tell her that she shouldn’t put much stock in what her friends say, or tease her about. It’s important to hear that. But don’t be afraid to admit to her that you have the same fears, and that you, too, have been saddened by the things that people say, or opinions they have about you.
A child knowing that they aren’t alone… that they aren’t just being a baby about being teased… it can really be a powerful message to give them.
We should all know that it’s OK to feel certain feelings, but that we don’t have to sit in them, and we certainly don’t have to be lonely in them.
Let folks say what they will, think what they will, make up grandiose stories as they will. And live your life with as much happiness as you can, because they don’t matter anyway, and they’ll continue to say what they want as it is.
Keep your head up, help your daughter keep her head up, and face life together as a team that knows they are wonderful no matter the opinions of others.