Shower thoughts with Shelly
If you’re a current subscriber, log in below. If you would like to subscribe, please click the subscribe tab above.
Username and Password Help
Misery loves company
“I don’t understand why he gets so upset that I’m not just going along with his schedule and his ideas.”
“Oh you know Mom, her way or the highway.”
There really are just people out in the world that feel entitled to make their will accepted. It’s nothing you’ve done, it’s not even personal. It’s strictly their idea of the way the world works. Their idea is that anybody in their life should bend and conform to what they want, or where they are headed, instead of making them consider a compromise.
There’s a wide array of reasons for the attitude. It can come from anywhere. It doesn’t have to be a personal relationship; it can be a work relationship just the same. Bosses, coworkers, and clients all just as easily as romantic partners, parents, family, and friends.
It might not be so bad. You might not even have noticed, or you might be in the throes of trying your best to reconcile just exactly where you went wrong in life to have this person in yours. You’ll recognize these people once you think about it, though.
This is the person in your life who never asks if you have an opinion, they simply present theirs and follow it with some version of “don’t you think?” They’re commonly the person that, should you commit that ultimate crime of telling them you have an opinion or idea, will resist on principle. One great trick I’ve seen is turning around what you’ve said and questioning it so as to make YOU question your own thoughts.
Some might say that only a weak-minded person falls victim to these power-hungry characters in their life. Some will tell you that you just need to walk away, cut them off, just be tough.
It’s not your fault though. These people are also the type who will misrepresent themselves to start with just to fool you. They’re the type who plays the long game to get you used to their ways until they know you find it second nature. Manipulation is their favorite hobby. Don’t feel like there needs to be blame placed, just work to overcome.
Oh, how we all want to ask a million burning questions of these people. What are you going to gain by forcing someone to be unhappy? What good is having a person in your life if your goal is to drag them down? How are you accomplishing anything by instilling your own fears and self-doubts or hang-ups on someone else? What is it that makes you think you need to have control over everything and everyone? Why do you feel like it just has to be your way?
Don’t let that get you down either, though. Asking them probably won’t produce results. The truth really is that misery loves company, and there are just people who need you at your lowest so you match them and they feel better. Focus on what you can do for you. Be true to yourself.