Tessie’s Two Cents
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Go with your gut
I’m a grown woman, I own my home, and I make my own decisions… but I’m afraid to paint the walls of my personal office room. I have a dream about what I want this space to look like, but I hear my mother’s voice in the back of my head telling me that dark walls will ruin a space. I feel like I have the idea in my head and my heart, but I can’t trust my gut. Why is that? What do I do?
Still Following the Rules
Dear Still Following,
Let’s use your own words, with a little editing, to give you the right answer here to the most important question: What do I do? Well…
“I’m a grown woman. I own my home. I make my own decisions. I have a dream about what I want this space to look like. I feel like I have the idea in my head and my heart. I will trust my gut.”
Whether it’s the voice of your mother, your brother, or some celebrity on television, folks can get in your head and make you second-guess yourself. The trouble with that is they aren’t the ones living and working in your personal office… you are! Why would you care at all what other folks think about your personal office space?
A room where you go to work, be creative, relax, or do any old activity for yourself should be a space where you feel good. A space where you are inspired, calmed, and happy to spend your time.
A room where you go like that should be a room that you treat with the same attitude you want to have about the rest of your life: what other folks think is not what should matter to you.
What matters in life is how you feel and what you think. It isn’t about making others happy, but about respecting each other for our own lives and the decisions that we make in them. Your mother might not agree with your color palette, but your mother isn’t you, so it’s not really her place or her problem to have an opinion on that palette.
And so importantly, you should really take the time to check in with your gut feelings. We are trained to question and worry, but the truth is that we all need to take more time to listen to our guts. When you have a deep feeling that something is wrong, or that something is right, you should check in with that. It’s never too late, either.
Stop listening to other folks, or even the ghost of other folks that you’re allowing to lounge around in your head. Go with your gut. Live your dreams.