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You can’t undo your actions
“I’ve told her I’m sorry, I’ve bought her flowers, I’ve been doing everything and anything I can think of to just suck up to her and make her feel better, but she won’t even give me an inch. She’s still mad and acts like she shouldn’t have to give me a chance to earn her forgiveness.”
As it turns out, she actually doesn’t have to give you a(nother) chance. She doesn’t owe you any benefit of the doubt, she doesn’t need to offer you the opportunity to make it up to her, and she doesn’t have to give you the chance to clear the air.
Remember, you don’t get to decide when or if anyone trusts you or wants to continue to have a connection with you. Whether it’s a friend, a business associate, a romantic partner, or even a family member… you are not the deciding opinion or factor in whether a person can or will come around from being hurt.
You do not get to decide how badly you hurt her. You are not the scale by which the pain of your actions gets measured, you are the cause of the pain. You do not get to decide that she recovers from a heartache you caused. You cannot dictate that she “gets over” your actions.
You deeply hurt her, and it is not your choice that she finds a way to forgive you (again). She is the only one who can forgive you, and the only one who can put a timeline on her forgiveness. She doesn’t even have to be sure of that timeline because there is no direct path in a healing journey. No straight line from hurt to forgiveness.
No… you have driven her to her breaking point, and you do not get to decide that she must put herself back together because that is what suits you. At best, you get to see the pieces put back together, bit by little bit, and even that is not guaranteed. You cannot insist that you get to help, or that the work move faster. The only person making decisions about their internal feelings is the person with the feelings. Try as you might, you have no control over that.
You can only control yourself, and what you should have done is control yourself before you hurt her. You can say you’re sorry… you can talk… you can buy all the pretty shiny apologies that you can afford. You can insist, direct, pressure, and impress your will until you’re blue in the face. But you can’t undo your actions. You can’t unbreak her heart and you can’t rewind time.
The only thing you really can do, is honor and respect her feelings and wishes, and hope that she heals.