Shower Thoughts with Shelly

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BE TRUE TO YOURSELF 

“I have to think about what’s going to upset him, so I know what I’ll be dealing with later…”

“I just know she’s going to say no and get mean with me, so what’s the point?”

Now hold on just a minute. Do you have to spend time thinking about how someone you love is going to react so you’re prepared for when you face them? Do you feel like you’re headed home to your parents after you’ve missed curfew when you’re actually coming home late from work to your spouse? Mustering up all your courage to go face your boss just to ask for things that are actually necessary to do your job?

Let me guess… you’re getting interrogated like you’re suspected of a major crime when you get home, aren’t you? Getting peppered with questions about where you were, who you were with, what happened, why it happened, who you talked to? Being reprimanded for having ideas about how to improve in your position, maybe?

You don’t feel like you deserve the grilling, do you? You’re still pretty confused about what you’ve ever done that means you deserve to be treated like you’re the most wanted fugitive and they’ve finally caught you. You’re feeling guilty, and yet… you know you haven’t done anything wrong.

You could be right, you know. It could really have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. It is entirely possible that it’s not what you do that’s the issue, exactly. At least not in the way you think. You might very well come in from saving seventeen children from a school bus hanging precariously off a cliff, and be the hero of the town… and find that your person is upset that you weren’t home in time to cook them dinner when they really wanted it, or that your boss is really mad because you saved them without including any way for them to take the credit for your heroics.

The problem turns out to be that you are a person all your own, instead of an extension of them that they can control the actions of… almost like their arm, or their foot. The thing they’re mad about is that you aren’t just waiting next to them to know and take action on their wishes. They’re upset because you weren’t readily available, not because you took too long to get there.

Sometimes, people want control of your actions, and who you are. You know what? Don’t let those people have that. You decide who you are. Be strong in your identity, and quit letting other people tell you what that identity is. You were not put on this earth to exist next to someone else to boost them. You were put here to be your own person. Maybe you were destined to stand next to someone, but you should be holding hands and facing the world together… not hiding behind anyone’s shoulder trying to boost them at your expense, or to your detriment.

Be true to yourself. Know your worth. Do good things in the world.