Shower Thoughts with Shelly

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When you’re hurt, let it hurt

When the people you love betray you… how do you come back from that? When someone who swears they’re in your corner is clearly on the other side of the room, what do you do about that? When you can’t imagine trying to trust them again… what comes next?

At one point or another we’ve all had the misfortune of a betrayal. Maybe it was a minor slip of a secret. It could’ve been a very complicated and outright fraud. Whatever the situation, it’s a difficult moment to overcome. Losing trust in someone that was special to you is a heartbreak.

Sometimes it’s not going to happen. Maybe it’s the seventh time that your friend has left you stranded, or the fourth time that your spouse has failed to keep secrets that they promised they would. It can be that the nature of the betrayal itself is what does it, or that the person in your company was someone that should never have put another soul ahead of you.

I wish I could tell you that time heals all wounds, but it’s not true. Time puts distance between you and a wound, no doubt. But sensitive scars can be left behind. You might not be bleeding from the cut anymore, but the scar reminds you of exactly the mistake you’d like to never make again.

Forgiveness is for yourself, not to make someone else feel better about what they’ve done wrong. Holding a grudge is most harmful to the person holding it, not the one the grudge is against. Forgiveness is important, as it is necessary to rediscovering a healthy mindset for the future, even if the future is different than what you imagine it would be.

One of the most important steps to healing is moving past the pain as best you can. Sometimes that means working together to find a solution that makes you both feel an improvement, and sometimes that means recognizing that your relationship is forever changed, and might need a new direction, or to be molded into something new altogether.

When you’re hurt, let it hurt. Let it bleed, let it heal, and let it go. It doesn’t mean you have to accept a person in your life any longer. It just means that you can’t hold hatred or hurt in your heart.